Why I Dumped Donald Trump

I usually try to stay out of politics on Twitter, Facebook, and Insta, mainly because I don’t want to lose any of my precious followers. Losing a follower just because we disagree on political issues like how high a wall should be or how deep a downtown Raleigh canal should be seems absurd. That all changed yesterday afternoon after my conversation with Donald J. Trump.

A few weeks ago I texted “TRUMP” to the number on the front of his podium during a speech he was giving. I had yet to decide on who to support in the election and figured this was a good way to stay informed on the issues and also keep tabs on how soon we would be winning again. After texting “TRUMP” to the number, I received the following response.

Perfect. I can’t be bothered to actually read about policy or campaign platforms on boring websites with tons of words. Having my political opinions delivered to me via text was exactly what I needed. I was shocked to see that the REAL Donald J. Trump texted me yesterday to encourage me to make America great again.

I realized it was the day of the NC primary and that he was probably busy, but I still tried to show my support.

We started talking about the issues.

The Donald continued to stick to his guns. Classic Donald.

Then things took a turn…

I couldn’t believe it. This guy has been going on and on about making us great and destroying ISIS and then he goes and endorses the Trolley Pub. At that moment I realized that I had to officially declare that I would not be supporting or voting for Trump, no matter how many followers I lost on social media. I called things off with Trump and took one last parting shot.

Now I don’t know if I’m definitely supporting Deez Nuts for President, but I was impressed with his visit to Raleigh last fall. I’m not even sure if Mr. Nuts is campaigning anymore, but I would vote for a fake person over a Trolley Pub supporter any day of the week.