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What started as a typical Easter egg hunt soon became a lesson on local ordinances in Cary this weekend. Residents new to Cary were surprised to learn of a strict ordinance in place which requires all Easter eggs to be painted beige.
Janice Adams, who recently moved to Cary from a suburb of New Jersey, took her two children to the Prestonwood Easter egg hunt expecting to see a colorful display. What she saw was underwhelming. “They just had a bunch of tan and beige eggs everywhere. I was like, what the hell is going on, it’s Easter, where’s the colorful eggs?”
She received the following response after reaching out to the Town Council. “We view Easter eggs as a sign of Easter and like all signs in Cary, they must fit within our guidelines. While we are aware that God offers a Master Plan, He has yet to submit it to the Town of Cary for approval. Until that time, the eggs will remain beige colored and will only contain licorice Jelly Beans, Yellow Peeps, and beige Necco Wafers,” said Jane Morrison, who sits on the Cary Town Council.
Raleigh residents were bewildered after being informed of the ordinance. Mary Anna Harrington, Director of Easter Programming at the Carolina Country Club, commented, “Beige eggs? We only use pastel colored and gold plated eggs. We had to stop using solid gold eggs because they were too heavy for the children to carry, especially when they’re putting 20 or 30 in their baskets. We don’t want anyone tearing a rotator cuff and putting their future tennis or golf career in jeopardy. We also monogram the eggs after the hunt to ensure siblings don’t get their eggs mixed up. Every single egg contains a combination of at least $100 in cash, Godiva chocolate, and keys to a miniature luxury sedan, Tahoe, or Escalade.”
Even North Ridge Country Club found the beige egg ordinance to be archaic. “Our Easter egg budget obviously isn’t as high as some other country clubs in town. While our eggs are plastic and filled with loose change and more economical candy, we can at least afford the multi-colored ones. We’re also able to hide more eggs since we have two golf courses. Yeah land is cheaper out here and DON’T quote me admitting to that, but two is still better than one, ya know? I mean, it’s not like we care what other clubs are doing though,” said North Ridge Assistant Director of Holiday Gatherings, Steve Booker.
The Town of Cary remained firm in their decision after hearing of the other egg policies. “When I joined the Town Council after moving here in 2006, I swore to uphold the values of our ordinances. We take our Master Sign Plan very seriously. If we stray from these rules all hell could break loose. Before you know it we’ll have shopping centers that don’t look identical to each other,” said Morrison.
Knowing Cary this is almost believable. This is the same town that at first denied a building permit for my church to put up a sign on the grounds we didn’t get a building permit when we moved it. The fact we didn’t actually build anything didn’t seem to matter!
I’d tell Cary Town council to go shit in their hats and wear them! I’ll paint my pastel colors on every Easter egg I can get my hands on and leave then under every bush I can find in Cary. So put that in your pipe and smoke it!!!